“When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in” Kristin Armstrong
Although there have been precursors to the holidays in the marketplace for nearly six weeks, the celebration of Thanksgiving this week officially invites us into the 2024 holiday season. Thanksgiving highlights the relationship between Native Americans and English Colonists and is characterized by feasting and gratitude for the year’s blessings. But for the grieving heart, it can feel meaningless and heart-breaking, and the launch into the holidays can begin a time of dread, loneliness and isolation. There are many helpful strategies for approaching the holidays and each griever will discover what works best for them. Some mourners like to have a plan and others want the freedom of unscheduled time to adapt as their emotions fluctuate. Whether joining a feast at someone’s home, hosting a dinner or spending the day alone, it is valuable for mourners to consider the healing power of gratitude which is at the heart of Thanksgiving Day. Gratitude is a fundamental attitude, a method of multiplying one’s blessings, and an impressive healing force for the grieving heart.
It may take a while after a death-loss to comfortably summon up gratitude or the peace, joy and security we experienced with our deceased loved one. But memories are a link to gratitude and a lifeline to a continuing bond with them. Enjoying gentle reminders of a loved one and appreciating their presence in the here and now allows us to continue a relationship through what I have come to call “love keeping.” Gratitude is an inevitable outcome of “love keeping” as we name, remember and honor the gift a person was in our life.
Revering a loved one celebrates the greatest blessing of life – love. It reminds us of the miraculous impact a person has made on our lives. There are 86,400 seconds in a day. This Thanksgiving I encourage you to devote 600 seconds (10 minutes) of your day to sit in gratitude for the person you mourn. Sara Raymond, from Mindful Meditation, posits that gratitude transforms the ordinary into the miraculous, converts a challenge to opportunity and can change something negative into a potential positive. I believe such a shift can move a griever’s heart from pain to peace.
If you are actively grieving the loss of a loved one this Thanksgiving, take all the time you need to feel the sadness of loss, for it is real and it must be honored too. But also take time to practice gratitude, to experience the power of the simple gifts of life such as the beating of your heart, the comfort of a friend sending a card, or the sun touching your face. Notice, appreciate and let gratitude lighten your heart. Thanksgiving is a day to recognize the gifts around you, so open to the small and big ways that good has touched you… allow life to transform and heal your grief.
Grief will sometimes overwhelm gratitude. But keep pursuing gratitude and eventually it will come to rest in your heart, giving you peace. Mindful meditations have often helped guide me to a place of peace. I suggest Sara Raymond’s ten-minute YouTube video for practicing gratitude. Cultivating Gratitude Meditation.
Wishing you peace, may you find an abundance of things for which to be grateful.
