Michael W. Urquhart

Tribute to Mike Urquhart

My dad passed away on the morning of May 6th, 2021 on the National Day of Prayer at the age of 75 after a long battle fighting against the effects of years of his transplant medicines. This is not going to be your typical obituary, as my father would never want anything that resembled “doom and gloom” as he would say. He was the forever optimist about his situation and that is how I want him to be remembered.

Dad was born in Bridgetown, Nova Scotia Canada on March 26, 1946. He was an all-sport athlete and played soccer, basketball, curling, volleyball, track, and most importantly hockey. He spent countless hours on an outdoor pond with friends passing the puck and scoring goals. He and friends, like Tommy Lycett and Bobby Locket, would be up before dawn on Saturday morning to walk to their coach’s house for a ride to catch one hour of ice time. When there was no hockey and winter was over, you could find him in the school gym, ball field and then later in his years, on the golf course. He was inducted into the Bridgetown Hall of Fame for basketball in 2013.

Dad did not even finish his senior year and left high school in the pursuit of love, only to end up in Malden, Massachusetts. He moved in with what became a lifelong friend, Jerry Breen, and they were managers at Jordan Marsh in Malden Square. Eventually he met my mom, Patti Buckley, who was also working downtown. They had a wonderful courtship and to this day, my father would tell you that summer spending time with my mom and the Buckley family was the best summer of his life up at Hampton Beach where my family had a cottage. On February 19th, 1969 they were engaged and then married at Immaculate Conception in Malden MA on January 26th, 1970.

I came into the picture on May 17th, 1972. My dad was a great father and even after my parents parted ways, he remained an active part of my life. I spent every weekend with my dad, and he was with me on every holiday and event. My mom remarried my step-father, Robert Donnelly, when I was four years old and my dad and Robert became lifelong friends and referred to one another as husband-in-laws. We did not have a typical divorced situation for sure but I felt very blessed to have them all in my life.

My dad worked in the car business for his whole life and ended his career at IRA Motor Group in Danvers MA after 31 years of service as the Director of the Toyota Rent-A-Car Program. He loved his job and worked 80 hours a week until he retired a few years ago. He is referred to by friends as “one of the good guys in the car business.” He loved working with Cindy and Larry, his partners in crime for many years and he looked at them more as family, not as co-workers, as well as countless others. Everyone at IRA loved my dad and there was not anything he wouldn’t have done for any of them. He took great pride in his work, received many awards and accolades and was a great role model for all of us in terms of his work ethic.

My dad suffered from cardiomyopathy for years and always knew he had something different with his heart. His health declined and after a few years trying to manage his symptoms, we were lucky enough to get on a transplant list. In August of 2008, our prayers were answered at Mass General Hospital in Boston and he received a new heart. We were blessed to have 12.5 years to enjoy together with little complications until towards the end. We are forever grateful to the family that donated their daughter’s heart and without her, we would have lost such precious time. My family and I are huge advocates of organ donation and will never forget the gift that we were given.

Hockey, hockey, hockey! One of his biggest passions in life. When my father moved to the states, he originally was a Toronto Maple Leafs fan. He would tell you that after the first time at the Boston Garden he then learned how much the Bruins fans hated the Canadians and then he became a Montreal Canadians fan! As a kid we went to more games than I can count as I became a hockey lover like my dad and many nights I had to deal with his spirited personality making it a little hairy getting out of the Garden when the Bruins were playing his beloved Canadians. He was not quiet in expressing his feelings about the rivalry if you catch my drift and sometimes needed a reminder that he was with his young daughter lol. He always kept it interesting for sure and we would enter the Garden and all the ushers and vendors would know him by name. His love for hockey brought him and another one of his best friends, Joey Cartolano and his wife Karen, into our lives. There are many great stories of the antics between these two that would melt your heart. They had great trips to Montreal together and countless memories. My dad considered them family and even spoke of this in his last days.

His other passion was horseracing and he became an avid handicapper. He has many friends from Suffolk Downs where he spent many years playing the horses and then was introduced to Saratoga by my husband, Rob. He thought he died and went to heaven when he first went there and that transformed into yearly trips to Saratoga and Lake George. He would spend all day basking in the sun, sitting with his cooler and chair in the paddock studying the horses. Other lifelong friendships were created through racing like his friend Billy Durante and his wife Helen and Joe Red. Both of those friends have passed before dad and I am sure they were waiting eagerly for their reunion. Jerry was also a big part of his love for racing as well as many others.

You also may not know that he also loved boxing and tennis. In 1992 he met one of his other best friends Al Valenti. Al told me the other day “it was love at first sight” and they have had so many memories attending fights and horseracing events. They even went to the Breeders Cup together multiple times. Dad and I went multiple times to NYC for the US Open for tennis and had many amazing weekends there watching matches and taking in the whole scene eating and drinking and meeting people from around the world. He was a huge Roger Federer fan and was always decked out in his RF and Polo attire. To this day it is some of the best memories I have of him and I.

Dad is preceded by his mother Joan Shaw and his brother David Urquhart. My dad was incredibly lucky to have a wonderful step-father, Gordon Shaw, in his life and had another brother Matt Shaw. My Uncle Matt and his wife Karen live in Alberta and Matt has always been great at keeping in touch with my dad. Although they lived so far apart and have not seen each other in so long, my dad always has loved him so much and always hoped they would reunite someday. My dad became a great golfer because of my Grampa Shaw, who was a pro and designed multiple golf courses in Canada. My dad would say there was no better Pro in the Atlantic Provinces than Gordon. He also has his mother’s sister back home, his Aunt Maureen, who he always adored and Cousins Cindy and Heidi and other family back home, as well as many friends. He also remained very close with his sister-in-law, Maureen Campbell and her husband Bill. For a number of years, they lived together in the same house on Revere Beach. They shared hours of conversations in the beautiful weather on the beach, sipping Coronas in the evening hours. They are also still very close with him today.

Dad was a proud Canadian, affectionately called a herring choker, but actually had dual citizenship. Everything was really better in Canada in his eyes and me and my family have sung the Canadian national anthem more times than we can count. I was lucky enough to have many trips to Nova Scotia to visit and spend time with family and quite a few to Montreal, the birthplace of hockey. I swear he was speechless when he entered the Montreal Forum for the first time and when they tore down the building, we flew up to the final game ever played at the Forum. He actually purchased the seats that we sat in at the last game ever played at the Montreal Forum. Two years ago we went to Niagara Falls and Toronto and made more memories. He loved trips to Siesta Key, Anna Maria Island and Lake George/Saratoga NY.

I was the apple of his eye until I had children. He was absolutely obsessed with my kids and was an incredible grandfather to them. They could do no wrong in his eyes and he constantly made us laugh with his “grampyisms.” My kids will miss all the hours watching sports on tv, hearing stories from back in the day in Canada and family trips. One of Abby's favorite memories is when he surprised the kids in Disney and they went into the hotel room and there he was on the balcony of Bay Lake Tower. They will never forget that he only ordered out when he babysat them and never cleaned a dish in the sink. Aidan would tell you one of the things he will miss the most is watching endless hours of hockey and their political discussions. Grampie always kept things interesting for sure and was a very proud conservative. He became a very outspoken Trump supporter and Fox News watcher and kept us all amused with his political conversations.

Dad was not a fan of “doom and gloom” and we never spoke of death and dying in his last years. For years MGH was able to “tweak his situation” is what he would say and we always hoped for as many years as we could get. He hated wakes and funerals so we will not have one to honor his wishes. What we ask is for you all to remember the amazing memories so many of you have, whether you are a friend from Toyota, horseracing or wherever. He would tell you to work hard in life, appreciate every second and love one another. Never give up. My dad was the toughest guy I know and never used the word pain even though he went through so much. I think that is why me and my kids are as tough as nails. Because of him.

He passed peacefully on May 6th. The way I always hoped. Quiet and in private and on the National Day of Prayer. Although I sat at the Rose Monahan Home many days for 5-8 hours, I always knew he would not go in front of me. He passed wearing one of his favorite t-shirts. A Toyota shirt. Very fitting. Please remember him as someone that loved his family and friends so deeply and that there was nothing he would not do for someone he cared about.

Memorial donations can be made in support of Dr. Greg Lewis’ work to advance Heart Transplant and Heart Failure Research at Massachusetts General Hospital. He took care of my father for years and there is no better place to recognize my dad and continue his legacy than with Dr. Lewis and the MGH team who spent countless years keeping him alive and with us as long as possible. He will forever be a legend at MGH and for the last few years, we have so many people and departments to thank for all their efforts. My family and I are eternally grateful for all especially in the cardiac transplant department, especially Coral and Sally and all those as well in Hematology, Kidney and Liver. For those of you who are so inclined, contributions to support Dr. Lewis’ work can be mailed to the attention of Christina Ferraiolo at the MGH Development Office located at 125 Nashua Street, Ste. 540, Boston, MA 02114. Gifts can also be made online at: https://giving.massgeneral.org/donate/cardiology/

Thank you to all of our friends and family who have supported us during this difficult time. We have definitely felt the love and it has made our days a little easier. Thank you also to the women and men who work tirelessly at the Rose Monahan House in Worcester who took care of my dad in his last days. We are so grateful.

Love you Dad!!! You will forever be in our hearts!

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