Joseph Benedict Lillyman

STERLING - Joseph Benedict Lillyman, age 87, beloved husband of the late Phyllis (Tartaglia) Lillyman of Sterling, MA and son of the late Walter and Johanna(Driscoll) Lillyman of Foxborough, MA, passed away February 8th, 2024, surrounded by his family, at Sterling Village Nursing Facility, in Sterling Mass., after a brief illness.

Born and raised in Foxborough, Mass, the youngest of eight children, Joseph would meet his future wife and life partner, Phyllis, from Mansfield, as she was being courted by one of his friends. They stayed in touch and eventually started dating a few years later.

In their twenties, Joe and Phyllis would both have apartments in Boston’s Beacon Hill. They would marry in May of 1959, and move to Sleepy Hollow, New York, where Joseph worked at Children's Village as a youth counselor. They started raising a family with the birth of their son Christian and soon after, daughter Johannah. The family would return to Boston where Phyllis, a Butera School of Art grad, would be employed at Filenes Basement as a layout artist. Relocating the family to Allston, Joseph attended Boston University School of Social Work. During this time, he would also intern for and be mentored by the late Margaret Gifford, founder of the Gifford School, a private, non-profit, special education school, originally located in Cambridge, now located in Weston. The relationship with the Gifford school remained a constant in the couple’s lives, as Phyllis established the first Art/Media Programs and Joseph remained on the Gifford School Board of Directors until he passed.

Joseph was an undergraduate of Boston College, was awarded a NIMH fellowship during graduate studies at Boston University and McLean Hospital. He developed and directed the first psychiatric day hospital for the Concord Area Mental Health Center, then at Emerson Hospital.

A LICSW, he maintained a private practice in Concord Center for decades, working with both individuals and groups with a focus on family and couples psychotherapy. With creativity, wit and humor, his direct, pragmatic and supportive approach would help many clients to reassess and evaluate past choices and use their increased self-understanding to approach newly discovered life goals.

Joseph was also a talented musician and lover of many genres of music, mostly classical and jazz. He played many wind and string instruments and would always invite himself to play any keyboard or piano at a social gathering if one happened to exist. He established multiple pickup jazz bands over the years, most notably his “Old Brown Pigeon Jazz Band” which played many weddings, fundraisers and for years, a regular Fourth of July gig on the common in Concord. His organized house party jams achieved legendary mischief status. He will be terribly missed by his fellow Pigeon alum/family members.

Joseph will be lovingly remembered and missed by son, Christian Lillyman Sr. and his wife Cathryn of Sterling; his daughter Johannah Carr and her husband William of Pawtucket, RI; surviving brother, William Lillyman of Ohio and sisters Catherine Owen of Wrentham, Nancy Pouch of Staten Island, granddaughter Nicole Lillyman of Washington DC and grandson Christian Jr., his fiancé Erica Freel and their daughter, great grandchild Gwendolyn Rose of Clinton MA, brother-in-law Ben Tartaglia Sr. and Family of Shrewsbury, Gary-son and wife Laurie Forman of Sudbury, as well as many more nieces, nephews and friends. Joseph was predeceased by his sister Joann Bagley as well as brothers Walter, Francis and George Lillyman.

In Lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Gifford School, 117 Boston Post Rd. Weston MA 02493. Memorial Services are pending and will be announced soon.

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